Wow, Grace Kathryn Cunningham Meihaus. What an angelic human being, a true saint. I’m so grateful to be part of her life and to stand here before everyone to celebrate and mourn her life story. As most of you know, I’m Mary the oldest child of Paul and Debbie Meihaus, and Graces Stem Cell Transplant Donor in Nov 2023. I need to take some time today to share a few words.
I have been preparing for this day since Graces diagnosis in Nov 2022. Every time I practiced communicating my families situation, I am overwhelmed by the words and emotions that associate with the expression of Graces life. How can I possibly explain in words the devilish disease that surrounded my sister, and eventually killed her? How can I explain in words how an angel could be slowly tortured to death by something so evil as cancer? How can I explain so much pain, anxiety and guilt in whats supposed to be such a happy world? So I promise this will be a balanced speech. Who is Grace Cunningham Meihaus?
Grace is a mother, wife, real estate agent, sister, warrior, faithful servant to God, Texan proud, country girl, beautiful woman, aunt, godmother, Cali girl, movie lover, athlete, leukemia carrier, champion of family, college graduate and a human filled with patience and grace.
That is only to name a few characteristics about Grace.
Grace had a beautiful life. Born to the Meihaus Family, in a loving middle class home located in breathtakingly beautiful Sonoma County. She lived through life as normal as possible while experiencing multiple medical challenges such as appendix removal after birth, mononucleosis, Rynauds Syndrome, Shingles, numerous colds, Schleromdera and eventually cancer. She persisted as any warrior does and pushed through all those challenges with grace and patience. Grace is the second oldest of five Meihaus children. I refer to her, myself and Paul has the OG three. We were all born 15 months apart and Grace and I did everything together. We went to the same schools, played on the same sports teams, and had the same friends. We were so inseparable that people always thought that we were twins, growing up. I vividly remember being there with Grace throughout most of her sicknesses and challenges. Even though we had separate personalities and viewpoints, Grace and I never stopped, loving each other. Grace was dedicated to Catholicism and graduated from John Paul the II University of San Diego. This is where she met her husband David. David and Grace were perfect for each other. Both passionate about faith and family they graduated and became engaged. Shortly after, another situation was presented, in the form of a treatment that would alleviate the effects of scleroderma. At this time scleroderma, an auto immune disease that means the hardening of the skin, was the main concern for Graces health and well being. It was at this time that my family and I understood Grace’s lifespan was precious and would be limited. Scleroderma is incurable and creates a shorten life for the recipient. However, Grace pushed through and my beautiful mother discovered a Autologous stem cell transplant treatment in Chicago that showed could support the healing process of scleroderma. Grace and my parents set out for Chicago and completed the transplant in 2016. After the stem cell transplant, Grace was one of the few recipients of the transplant at that time and the Vatican invited her to Rome to speak about her experience. My Dad and Grace traveled to Italy and experienced what very few get to do. Grace testified about her experience as an Autologous
stem cell transplant recipient, then shook hands with Pope Francis. It was an experience that we will all never forget. Grace was back to normal afterwards. She was married and had a beautiful baby girl, Ava. Life is good and presents so many miracles.
The Cunningham’s then moved to Texas with the rest of David’s family and started a new life. This wasn’t always easy for Grace but ultimately they thrived in Texas and she became a real estate agent.
Then everything changed. I remember FaceTiming her during Thanksgiving in 2022 and she was telling me about how sick she was feeling. Grace assured me it was only a case of the flu. My mom called me two days later to say she was diagnosed with leukemia.
Our entire family took a dramatic spin. So many emotions of fear, worry, devastation, sadness, anxiety and even panic ensued. How can this be? Why did this happen? The horror of cancer is that it attacks the body so violently that all the time and conversation is spent managing the effects rather that the causes. All the energy and focus was to keep Grace in a state of remission. After loads of chemo and medications, this seemed to be the case. About a year after her diagnosis, the doctors decided that she was ready for the next treatment. A stem cell transplant from an outside donor. This is where I come in. The cells preferably come from a family member with similar DNA. Thus all the Meihaus family siblings needed to be tested. The results were as follows: I was the only match at 50%. I knew that was going to be the result. I knew it in my heart and soul. I traveled to Dallas and experienced what few get to do and give part of my body to heal someone I love. It was experience I will never forget. However, I wasfurther exposed to the nightmare of cancer. I witnessed the suffering, insubordination of health care workers, poor hospital management, painful procedures, emotional decision making and ultimate avoidance. I realized that every procedure, treatment and medication that Grace participated in was a hope filler. Everything was a filler for this devilish sickness, in order to just keep the patient alive and avoidance of the truth.
What is the truth about cancer?
The true is that cancer has been recognized and documented since the time of the Ancient Egyptians. Cancer attacks the body and is the top cause of death in the country. Cancer is a slow and torturous death. When attempting to find answers to logical questions like how did the cancer develop in Grace? Why did this happen? What are the expectations of treatment? The answers could never be truly found. Our current healthcare system has yet to provide answers and gloriously responds with excuses, avoidance and ignorance.
Grace was a victim of the failed health care system, cancer research and unfortunate circumstance’s. Grace I am so sorry, you deserved none of this.
Ultimately, the treatment was successful but not effective. Grace a was further pumped with chemicals and pain medication’s to slowly ease the inevitable. Toward the last couple months of her life, she experienced numerous horrible effects of cancer, like a heart attack and drainage of the stomach. Those are just some names to the few of the sufferings that she endured.
I have dedicated my life to being an advocate for Grace and participating in solutions that will manage cancer. This is my everlasting gift to Grace.
Her life was so filled with love, happiness and family. It never should have ended like it did. This is the unfortunate reality but her life ended with such love and grace.
I believe this is the theme for her untimely passing. As one of my lovey cousins told me, maybe there was reason her name was Grace. Her life was full of grace and ended with Grace.
Lastly, I want to share I believe that grief is the experience of unexpressed love and is managed in 4 ways: 1. Though words 2. Through writing 3. Through action 4. Through thoughts. My family and I are grieving tremendously from this experience. I know we will be participating in all 4 ways of grieving throughout the rest of our lives.
As a final conclusion, I can’t believe I went from being the oldest of 5 to the oldest of 4 living siblings. To remember Grace and all cancer victims, I implore everyone to participate in the 4 ways of grief, like my family. Graces passing affects everyone in her life. I encourage you to communicate with me anytime, anywhere through email, phone or mail. I will give my contact information to anyone interested. I would love to talk to anyone that has or is going through the horrors on cancer. Please, take action. Donate blood, platelets or your time to the many non profits of your choice that support cancer victims and their families. Keep Grace, David and their amazing daughter Ava in your thoughts and prayers. Finally, write about the memories, feelings and experiences. I would be honored if you would share them with me or add to Graces story of love and happiness. David and I have developed a website for Grace and we will upkeep the website with memories and pictures hopefully for the foreseeable future.
Thank you for all the love, support and addition to our memories as we participate in this crazy human experience.
Forever love and Grace
Mary Meihaus